Hello everybirdy!

the last update was ages back. OMG

work’s fine and i have return back to MMS. read: Marina Mandarin Singapore

spent 7 mths at Wotif and that was a happy place to be. 

i m missing my beechy director as i typed. heard abt her even before i stepped into Wotif, and she actually turned out to be the nicest person there. she was straightforward (read: beech) but i like her so much. 

i think i prefer ppl who are direct than those faking masks. sigh. 

anyway, reading my to-do list for year 2012,

i failed my tp la. knn.

and this year, i m going to KOREA. finally i got the courage to do dbl eyelids. good. get it over and done with.

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Short recap of 2011 – What i have done n accomplished
– Failed TP
– Quit CID
– Enrolled into Degree Programme (Dbl Maj in Hospi & Tourism and Marketing)
– First Virgin Trip to Hongkong!

So i welcome 2012 with the below aims
– complete my Bachelors
– change to a higher paying job
– Virgin trip to Taiwan (tix booked for July!!)
– Pass my TP
– Save alot alot alot of money~~~~~

你有独处的时候我就是孤独
你在微笑的时候我就是幸福
亲爱的我的温柔你怎么记得住
我从来没有在你面前哭
你去流浪的时候我也被放逐
你想说谎的时候我变成赌注
亲爱的我的温柔你怎么记得住
在你身边我像影子一样模糊
在你的世界里我一个人住
你认为甜蜜我觉得痛苦
你曾说过爱情应该是无条件地付出
到最后还是我一个人住
跟你的脚步我迷了路
我很难对自己交待清楚
因为我在乎

with everyone around me getting hitched, i ponder to myself “y does it seems like we are still stepping on the same old grounds that we stepped 5 yrs ago”

i wish i can have the ability of the vampires to block of emotions.

y does my blog filled with emo posts of me n him? am i wrong to bite the bullet 5 yrs back?

i think we have reach the bottlebneck of the relationship.

u said that u sensed that my feelings towards you changed. i duno how to ans you. i only know that im tired. real tired of bickering and nagging the same old thing over n over again. 

 

i am forever the one craving for your attention. for your time, for your companionship.

and you are always the one who can throw me aside and go out with ur frens. in the past, it was drinking. now, thank goodness u changed to sth healthier.

but. do you really have to go fishing almost everyweekend. to the extent that, i hav to drag you to HK to spend our er ren shi jie together?

yes, i can go with u, tgt with ur colls. but all ur colls are guys, they did not bring along their wives/gfs. i also want you to spend ur own time with him, and not make it seem like im leeching on u everywhere u go.

so much disagreements, so many types of compromises we made. but the weirdest thing is, we are at the same start point where we left 5 yrs ago.

 

so tell me, what can i do to make u a lil bit more sensitive to my feelings? what can i do so that u can automatic bring mi out for dates, bring mi out for trips, or even bring mi out for meals, WITHOUT the presence of ur colls?

we sorta sorted out our indifferences in a way or 2.

he said he will plan a short getaway on my bday.

he said he will spend more time with me.

he said whenver im angry, he will endure and coax me.

 

not being doubtful but lets hope for the best. everyone is innocent unless proven guilty. or izzit vice versa? it makes a big diff u know.

i gonna start with i duno what to say.

true indeed. i really duno what to say. or rather i duno how to react.

in the past, i was a dependent gf. i wanted my bf to sms me whenever he is free, calls me whenever he has the time, and always be with me when i need him.

but for the past 4 yrs. i have learn n grown into a very independent gf. i dont seek spritual reliance on him, i dont rely on him to get things done.

i dont need him to acc me to collect my repaired CPU. i carried the CPU myself all the way back home, which was 2 streets away from my hse.

i dont need him to go musicals with me, becos i know he is not into it.

i dont need him to sms me or call me every now n then. the furthest i wanted was to sms me when he reach home from his drinking sessions or pubbing etc etc.

i dont need him to eat dinner with me everyday after work, becos i know he needs to OT most of the days.

i dont need him to travel with me, bcos as per him, he doesnt have leaves to spare. though i have questions about his leave system but still i leave it as it is.

but when i need him…

to babysit pepper for a mere few hrs, he put plane.
to watch MMA boxing with me, he refused claiming that he maybe need to work OT on a sat, if not, he would be going to the dentist. though in the end, he went msia with his colls (tgt with me).
to collect mooncake with me at taka and watch lion dance finals at ngee ann city on a sat, he said taht he will be playing badminton / kayaking with his guy frens. though in e end, he was idling at home (i give him the benefit of doubt that he did booked the badminton court and kayak place, if not he wouldnt have rejected me).

i dont want a perfect boyfriend. but there are basic requirements of a bf. if i were to turn to my frens to pei mi to collect mooncakes, to pei mi watch boxing, to babysit pepper, so why did i wan a bf for?

if he canot provide for me spiritually, physically, emotionally, (but monetary wise he can la), then… i really dont know why i need a bf for?
to ballot house together?
apart from this reason, i duno others.

he can be self sufficient, revolving around his frens *who mostly are single*, and his colls *who r good ppl btw*.. but what abt me?

i cant be bothered to explain to him what got me started this cold war, becos, i see no point, as i know, til the day i die, he still duno my needs.

he has his own needs, the need to be with his frens, drinking, fishing trips, own space. havent i give him enuff? he doesnt like to talk on phoen, doesnt liek to sms gf, doest like to call gf.. all i come to terms with.

with my studies piling up, the time tgt is lesser n lesser.

and tat night mj with jackie and terry, really set me thinking, if i were to marry him, will he be like the both of them. treating their wives with TLC. of cos they are not the perfect husband, but at least, they do their basic duties as husbands. buy breakfast for wives, ferrying wives to and back from work. respect their wives (becos 1 of them jio-ed mj and he asked the person to ask wife for permission! hahah).

and unlike other bfs who will asked for a talk when they know their gfs are pissed, he only will watsapp “hows ur day, do u wanna meet” if i reject, he will go “ok” etc etc.
he did not even make the effort to look for me after work, and explain and make things right.

he just leave things at it is. maybe in his mind he is thinking “aiya she throwing temper only la, in the past also like tat, 1 day or 2, she will be fine. i shall steer away until she is nt angry”

but the prob is there, the root is there. and im even more doubtful of who am i to him, when he doesnt even make the effort to appease me. by saying “make the effort” i dont mean that watsapping me is an effort. watsapping me and end the conversation with a “ok”, is just (to me), the easiest way (and cant-be-bothered) way out.

maybe getting the flat is wrong.
maybe i m right when i hesitated in applying the flat.
maybe maybe maybe.

today is the 5th day of nt meeting, and im feeling indifferent. very indifferent.

cos it is the SOP for me to upload my wishlist for the convenience of myfrens.. here i am.

(THOUGH I KEEP SAYING I WAN $$ ONLY LA)

but if u all think that giving mi red packet is not sincere, i dont mind green packets, purple packets or doraemon packets one. hahahaha!

okay la.. IF u all die die insist wanna giev mi pressies… please refer to the below:

1) 1 laptop. (sony vaio) MODEL No: VPCYB16KG

2) voucher for creative eyebrows at Allure. can refer to Silver Ang’s blog at http://thatsilvergirl.blogspot.com/2010/07/ad-eyebrow-embroidery-at-allure-beauty.html or the website http://www.allurebeauty.com.sg/

3) unlimited vouchers for manicures!

okay, this yr’s wishlist is pretty simple. cos i m not lacking in anything (except $$$). hahahaha!

 

anyway, i would advise all of u not to crack ur brain and give mi $$$ la. hahahaha!

haha i just approve aza’s post dated 26 May! that shows how long i nv blog.

anyway.. so far so good. sch’s killing me esp when i have business law class from 9-6 on sats and suns. final exams are until 8 aug, and after tat, im a free bird. gotta return back to my cage starting sept. hence, any people wanna date me, fastest fingers first!

work’s fine for me. except tat i gonna beetch alil.

pepper fell ill the first time since 5 yrs. was on fever and even my parents freaked out. he just lied there listlessly, ppl walked past, he bo hiu.

KIV him for 1 day, and the nex day, my mum called and said he running v high fever cos can feel the heat from his body and he puked, not eating, not drinking.. i was worried sick and i dashed him at 5.30pm sharp.

vet was closed by the time i reach home (or maybe abt to close), and becos i do nt hav my director of sales’ phone number, i emailed her that night. i knoe she will check her BB for emails every now n then.. “hi XX, i need to take a day’s leave, my dog is very sick and i’ll be bringing him to the vet tmr” she replied “ok”

brought pepper to the vet, and e vet said he kena eye infection for god knows what reason, and he is running fever.. gave him 4 injections and 1 water drip.. after the visit to the vet that day, he still sian sian. like no energy like tat. i monitored him until evening, and i tot he shud be okay as long as he eats his medicine and drinks alot of water..

so i met jackson for dinner.. and after tat, i received a call from my mum saying that pepper like getting more serious. i bursted out in tears and asked jackson to pei mi go home. tat was around 11pm alr. (and i still tot i can go back to work teh nex day). so i sms-ed my colls for my DOS’ number. but cos its so late, no one replied me. so i emailed her again, explaining that pepper is still v sick and im worried so i need another day’s urgent leave. and that night, i carried him to my room and i nursed him. put cold towel on his body to lower his temp, feed him water, feed him med. and was weeping (like mad) as i sayang-ed him, cos i m so helpless.

thank guan yin ma bo pi, the nex day he is better, though still nt strong enuff to jump onto e sofa, but can see he is getting better.

so after 2 days of urgent leave, i went back. and shortly after, my DOS and my ACTING mgr (who was my lunch buddy n whom taught me almost everything since day 1 i joined e co.) asked mi into the meeting rm.

the fucking naive me thot that there is some briefing and i still brought along pen and foolscap paper.

until my DOS said to me “do u hav any challenges in ur work?” i was taken aback. and i said no.
so she went on sayng “we noticed that u took 2 days of urgent leave” and my acting mgr said “ya.. its not good to take consective 2 days urgent leave”

and i said “but i tot i explained the reason alr?” so the acting mgr said “well u must set an exmaple, if next time other staff’s dog sick cat sick, are they going to take urgent leave? we did not request u to do OT, u off work at 5.30pm, y cant u bring ur dog to the vet then?” HELLO! IF UR CHILD IS SICK, WILL U ASK UR CHILD TO WAIT FOR MUMMY OFF WORK THEN BRING U TO THE DOC. FUCK U LA.
so i smiled and said “i understand we are short handed, but i m still working despite im home. i replied emails that i can assist” and they said “but no one sees that u reply emails durign work. we know, but the rest of the ppl in the company duno.” HELLO! LIM BEI REPLY EMAIL IS COS I GOT SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY. NOT BECOS I WANNA ACT IN FRONT OF OTHER PPL!

and i said “ya…. i understand……” then the DOS asked me “if ur dog is not going to recover and may will die, will u take leave when he’s dead?” HELLO! AR BO U WANAN LEAVE HIS BODY AT HOME TO ROT THEN SEND IT TO CREMATORIUM WHEN U BACK FROM WORK??!
i replied “yes. i will still take leave. cos he is impt to me. i dont have children no family commitment, but he is impt to me even though hes a dog”

so my ACTING mgr said “like tat next time, we hire staff without pets lor” KNN MAX OKAY! AR BO U ALSO EMPLOY PPL WITH NO MOTHER NO FATHER NO WIFE NO HUSBAND NO SIBLINGS NO KIDS LA! MOTHER FUCKER! she WAS (i emphasize, W A S ) my lunch buddy, sometimes she will talk to me abt my pepper, so i tot she will understand. EVEN dont understand, also no need say until so rude right.

so.. both of them concluded tat i hav disciplinary problems, and tis time round, i rebuked “if just by taking 2 days urgent leave due to such reasons, i have disciplinary probs, im nt going to accept it.” if i really have disciplinary probs, i wudnt give a shit to email DOS when i don have her number, i wudnt reply to emails and doing my work as much as i can at home.

end up, they banned me from taking any leaves for the nex 1 mth. CAN U IMAGINE?! MY OWN ANNUAL LEAVE! I CANT TAKE?! seriously. if i m not studying degree, i would hav gone out right to my PC and type the resignation letter, and then throw into the cb mgr’s face and tell her “NOW u really can go hire someone without pets”

but okay. i LPPL, cos i need e money.

the best part was.. prior to my 2 days urgent leave. my acting mgr was on course for 2 days, then sat n sun, then on leave for anotehr 2 days~ 6 days of nt working. talk abt lack of manpower.! kiss my slippers la~

anyway, now her face seriously irks the shit outta me. she wanted to pretned nth happen and wanna act friendly to me. but too bad, anyone who indirectly/directly talked bad abt pepper, no way la huh, unless she goes n licks pepper’s ass la!

WAT A BEETCH!

note: the sentences highlighted in orange, were what i would said to her, if i have a millionaire for a husband. 🙂

 

those who read until tis sentence, thanks for reading my rants.! love u!

hello!
been a long time since i last update….. wonder who is still reading??

I FINALLY ENROLLED FOR MY DEGREE in Kaplan~
murdoch uni, double majors in Hospitality & Tourism management and Marketing.
and it cost me an ass-whopping $21k. SOOOO POORRR MEEE! i still hav to save up for our flat reno leh.. haiz!

anyway, below are previews of my classes….. so if u guys wanna date me, pls refer to my busy “schedules” first.

nv shop much as i will be a full time dog sitter at home. now im lemming for a nice nice clutch but so far…… cant find. emo.

My New Twitterrrrrr~~

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Basking in Joy

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My Craves


Full Time Job

Get a freaking degree

Purple Lilies

LV Tiovoli PM

LV Mini Pochette

Depression-less

Guess Perfume

A Full-Day Tanning at Sentosa

Longggg Holiday

A Trip to BKK, TW, Maldives, Maritius, Japan

$$$$$$$$$$$

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